Speeding Wannabe Hardass in Chevy Traverse

Idiocy Meter
    
Asshole Meter
     
Nothing screams badass louder than a 30 degree gangsta lean to your right with yo’ left wrist steering at 12 o’clock blazin’ 80+ on the freeway in your Chevy Traverse. For a second, I was like what kind of POS SUV is that? Well, apparently the 2014 Chevrolet Traverse is ranked #6 in Affordable Midsize SUVs by U.S. News & World Report (who knew?). It may also be the new vehicle of choice for the wannabe hardass in a midlife crisis who wants to juggle his living life on the edge with his family and Corgi mutt. This douche (license plate 6WHV) was tailgating and weaving without signaling on the 91 Fwy East around Bellflower late Saturday morning when traffic was moving along quite well, though clearly not fast enough for this guy who wanted to flex his 281 HP V6 engine while spitting in the face of his 23 Hwy average MPG. As we were pacing along at a steady pace in the carpool lane, this yo-yo tailgater kept speeding past us whenever there was the smallest stretch of open road, only to brake and fall behind whenever the offensive wall of general traffic (the nerve!) impeded his progress. You go on with yo’ terrible self…just don’t forget to refill the Diaper Genie when you get back home (the black line was showing on the bag this morning).